Sorry for the holdup!

To all my loyal & dedicated readers (me).. all fake apologies in getting “my” site functional…it’s like 10 hours later..than before & for some strange reason, there appears to be a glitch in the system where nothing is working. This pre-historic technology is slowin me down!! Seriously, how the fuck do you organize the categories up in here? I would click on “help” but I’m in a rush.

Unstructured Chaos

I’m all excited about this new blog and have so many ideas I wanna write down..then i sit down at the p.c..and uh…blank…it’s like I’ve written down tons of material and already dialogued it all in my head. That’s very strange, but I like the continous dialogue that goes on, my God..I think I’m starting to really like life..my life, even though it seems to have the ability of kickin my ass at lighting speed. It’s fun actually. I’m not always laughing and it’s not always jokes….but yeah…I’ve had the oppurtunity to “observe” and see another side of life that doesn’t seem to be the norm and it’s what keeps me from not going comepletely insane…the kind of insane where your not functional that is. Yeah, life is fasinating and there’s evidently no end to the ”chaos”.

That’s what I wanted to jot down….now i remember..I woke up this morning and when it dawned on me that it was sunday…which has always been a blah sorta day where I get in a crappy mood out of “habit”..I said “well, great, it’s freakin sunday, time to be a unappriciative bitch”! and Bang! I started laughing and was like fuck it, it’s a great day! So yeah, all these imbedded feeling and habits can’t ever be forgotten and it’s tough as hell to overcome them, but since the past can’t be changed, I’ve realised that out of the “choices” given, I’m allowed to pretend I have freedom to do whatever I want, when really, I have a hyper 2 year old to take care of..alone, full time school, and all the other continuous curveballs life offers me every day..every moment, and I’m proud of myself. I’m in a “category” in standard society’s view as not being worth much, or an individual of great contribution….and that was what kept me down and beleiving that I had to stay at the bottom in life for so long. It still pisses me off, but I see the difference now…all kinds of obstacles are always there, no matter what we remove, overcome, “deal” with….the ocean never dries up…it’s one thing to overcome your past and rise above, and quite another when you realize that your alone and never alone at the same time…yeah, confusing, but I’m somewhat of a “loner”, don’t like big crowds, fakeass social gatherings… and when I came to like the idea of being an “outcast” and the oddball everywhere I go, I found some true friends that I’ve never even met in person, through my mp3 headphones. Sounds fucked up? so what!! I understand this, and that’s what’s important. I mean seriously, think about it, this post itself is unstructered, not properly formatted, it’s all over the place, and it actually makes a lot of sense. I would like to learn how to be better able to formulate my thoughts and experiences into something that’s more easily understood, as I have some fun, fasinating and downright fucked up, but helpful stories to share…so that’s what I’m doing with this new blog. I’m not holding anything back, the richochet of my words don’t faze me much anymore, so….”Let’s do it”!!!!!!!

All that when the issue at hand was in the 1st sentence!!! That’s what makes this oraganizing of confusion interesting.

Lightning fast insanity..2nd edition

Uuhh..that was fast. I told ya, it never ends! These feelings that come & go so quickly are not always fun, but yeah, for some strange, unknown and misunderstood reason….I love this two-sided life. It just sucks that it’s so freakin insane that it’s actually quite normal….to “understand’/ have the ability to identify with it, feel like your absolutley out of your mind and not part of what’s accepted, yet at the same time, be able to control it..control as in being able to maintain ‘composure’ in everyday life and social interactions. When your own family drops you for attitudes and behaviors that’s not what I am now, when after having countless Psych. “pros.”, therapies..etc…. all trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and keep on attempting to diagnose me with some fuckin mental disorder and “encouraging” me to accept my ‘situation’ of being of limited capacity, after every fuckin pill they tried out on me to “assist” me in remaining a fuckin vegatable…simply due to the “fact”, that they themselves don’t know what there fuckin doin, and are so messed up themselves that they “overcame”/repressed their own life history, studied, schooled themselves, obtained a prestigious degree and then it’s like ok, were the qualified ones in life to help the less fortunate and mental cases. well, as judge-mental(hehe), as this sounds, there’s actually no hate behind these words, sad, frustrating…because we all have some fuckin issues from childhood/adolesence/family life….that’s normal, how else would we learn? What freaks me right the fuck out now that I see it “clearly”, is that when were young, ok, we follow what’s goin on around us..we really don’t know how cold and hippicritical this world is, were somewhat more “naive” and believe what were told and taught. Ok, that’s all fine, but when it dawns on you that your only a bi-polar, personality disorder, skitzoid..etc…because you allow the qualified profeesionals to decide for you what you are in life…and what you can never change….I’m like FUCK YOU! Yeah, Fuck You, this is not really even as much about me now, as it is about what a major epidemic of absolute fuckin bullshit it contributes..and we allow it..because it’s the greater majority. What’s funny, and not at the  same time, is that that after beingbounced around from doctor to doctor, institution to instituion, about 20 suicide attempts, more meds than a teenager should even be given… all originating at the age of 11 or so because the family didn’t know what to do with me..I’ve identified with and exhausted pretty much all the psychiatric disorders “available”. Now, how fuckin crazy can you be, when after all that insanity, you kinda snap outta it and realise you can’t be any of these things because they ain’t what I really am..there experiences, feelings, whatever. Now, don’t get me wrong here..i didn’t just snap outta it with my own natural genious!!…After all that, I went into a a L.S.D. program(Life skills development), in dec. of 02, thinking it was another traditional rehab where I could hide for the winter because that’s when the loneyliness was the worst, and of course the miserable cold and hopelessness and denial of laziness to get it togeather instead of blaming the world for my unfortunate circumstances. Well, finally, I found someone who, still pisses me right off & vice versa…who freakin cares. A caring that I’m now starting to comprehend, and a tough one to swallow, but this man, a rogue as he claims, has got a system of “social welfare’ so fuckin incredible, complicated, contradictory, aggrivating, challanging and downright fucking shocking…that it works. This ain’t no place to go to be babied and carried in order to protect your delusions of being sick and inadequate. He, somehow, puts you face to face with yourself in a way very few actually have the balls to do in any helping profession…because in order to acomplish this, you gotta first come face to face with yourself and “overcome’ the realization and humilation it produces. No details needed on this, as we all have our own unique views of ‘face a face’, but after that, there’s a main underlying thread that pops up, down, around &around and everywhere that is no longer unavoidable. 2.5 years in & outta there, and up till now, his teachings are with me everywhere I go…and getting stronger on a momentary basis. It’s taken me way fuckin beyond where is still a mystery, and I’m actually at a loss of words here, cuz it’s a matter of experiencing it that contributes to the understanding of it…in short, were all fuckin menatl and were not, we all have “cognitive” disabilities and we don’t, and we all have unused potential that seems endless..because we fuckin let it remain unused. Were all hippocrites, & personally, it’s comingdown to what kind of hippocrite I am, which is stop pretending that the world has done me wrong and owes me, it owes me shit…which is actually what keeps me strong, it’s the way the world is, continous “issues”, abuse of powers by those in postions to make effective changes, indifferent, selfish, greedy and delusional professionals that ignore or “selectively” act as if they forgot the reasons they originally chose whatever helping profession they embarked on. This isn’t even a matter of disrepect or hatred aimed at anyone…..i’ve always been blunt, I call it like I see it…& it always get thrown back at me as if I, a 27 yr old single mom has created all there denials and that I’m insane, stressed, overtired, and not in the position of questioning those in a postion of power as to their words or actions…and now, finally, after all this time, all these struggles, all my viewing’s of “inequalities” & mistreatment of pretty much everything, I’m fuckin seeing the oppurtunities that all this absurdity and b.S is offerring me. like i said, it’s a matter of what kind of hippocrite I choose to be, and since the 2-sidededness of lunacy appears unavoidable, & the making a living off the world’s misery is the only option…(evidently)…Than I’ll glady, without any more guilt, take full advantage of it and use it in it’s proper context, which is becoming clearer that it’s not to be used in half assed, half hearted and “selfish” intentions that work in keeping people limited and feeling useless. and that’s where this all becomes the toughest and saddest part, because no matter what, people get hurt…especially when the tables are turned and you see shit for what it really is, you give back what people don’t even hear themselves asking for and it’s the only way….that works. To beat the unbeatable odds, to continue on and work hard when it feels like everything and everyone is here to annoy the fuck outta you, hold you down & keep you limited, unaccepting of new ways and the diversity of life as individuals, when the same systems of functioning that doesn’t work is used by the powerful/greater majority and when it feels like no one gives a fuck, well that’s what I calls balls, to stand up, regardless of humiliation, hidden, but intentional verbal abuse…aimed at feeling superior to make up for their weaknesses they can’t face and be like, keep laughing and sublimally sending me messages of how dumb and illogical i am all you want muthafuckers….cuz, although i’m still learning, I’m tough, and been through some fucked up shit that never ceases to leave me alone, and I’m still getting up each morning at 5 am to fufill duties that take more than what 1 women has been “statistically” proven to handle…you know, taking into consideration, my numerous mental illnesses, emotional instabilities, my inadequasies, my cognitive disabilities…and all my behaviors that I’ve always been told would never change. Funny, perhaps my ”illogical” ways of thinking and my overactive “imagination”  has gotten in the way of proper “reasoning”……Fuck You!!! ..but hey, thanx as well..

if this is what stupidity is…then wow, it’s astoundingly refreshing!!!

yeah, yeah

LOL..who’m I fuckin kiddin? I’m trapped in something that i have no idea how I got into it….and i don’t really care all that much. This Blog sucks!! Goddamned traffic jams, I need an old jaloppy in times like these!!

Trapped precisions

Yeah, these up & downs suck….but I bounce back quick..resilient…I’m impatient, I want to accomplish it all now..I have the knowledge, understanding and “reason’ of why i need to to what I want to embark on…but my priorities of of being a full time student and mom are interfering…Family comes first, hard to deal with, when you want to actually take all this information thats scattered and learn how to use it to help in a way that’s civil and effective. and the shame of not fully applying it when right now, it’s my son, a human life that needs me..is in complete contradiction of what it’s all about.. fucked up and real, and honest…there you have it, when the mirrors are broken, and you let nothing slide by in the reflection of self..well it goes from .22 shorts to deringers, to 12 guages and then bakooka’s..(metaphoric..of course). My son’s needs are taken care of…spoiled, but i’m in school all week, not enough quality time with the chaotic schedule, and i dont let that be used as an excuse…plain and simple, my son comes first..a fuckin human life…and I rather be studying so I can accomplish and make something of myself as I actually feel ashamed of being a women sometimes cuz stay at home mom livin off the system isn’t my thing, and it sure as hell ain’t respected no matter what people try to say….it’s the truth. wtf? My mess and I’m torn cuz I see right through and don’t even have the option of “logically reasoning” with delusions anymore…3 more months of school and then i’m taking a break till september to prioritize….and it’s really not what I wanna do, but it’s gonna get done…doesn’t make me a fuckin betty crocker saint when my hearts not in the right space about it…yeah how many people do you know who can nail this kind of introspectrum with nauseating precision and publicaly put it on display? Exactly, not as many as you think.

Thanx

A little humour..

Evidently self-explanatory, otherwise were dealin with other issues….

my newfound wittiness

my “personal” understanding of the world of ideas and ownership of them is that we actually don’t have as much ownership of them to begin with…it’s like an underlying basic thread that were all linked to, realised or not…and it’s ours, while at the same time not..just a matter of what one, as an individual with unique & personal characteristics chooses to study & research..etc… Where all the original works of such popularity that continue to be examined originated from even these works themselves…are all borrorowed, added onto, reworked, broken down, distorted and more unique twists and turns of the uniqueness of individual expressions and understandings that make like so fasinating. But yeah, if it’s on a public site that my perpertrating eyes happen to wander upon, perhaps it’s theft…depending on if this post was creatively brought into the open of your own thoughts without first linking the desire of dvelving into this issue from a previous study or interest based on say, plageriarism, freedom, property theft..etc.

triganometry-take 458

Details to follow…I’m deliberating on formatting of my words!!! It’s a hung jury!!

Yeah ok, seriously though…I passed trig. 1….85%…lets “recap”

 

1-Finished workbook in record time

2-completed supplementary exercises…multiple times

3-Did the “pre-test”…you know, to prepare for the test test…20%

4-Re-did “pre-test”..you know to further acknoldge my mistakes….13%

5-Took the “progess evaluation”…you know..so the teachers could evaluate my progress and where I went wrong……if 20% & 13% arn’t an indication..well

6-Took the “pre-test”…a 3rd time…same version btw….got 57%….pass is 80% on “pre-tests”…they let me go with 60% cuz I ain’t having any of that non-sense..I “know” my rights!!

7-Took the test test…yes with the 57% pre-test results…..figure out y fuck

8-Flew through it, no “rough” work, 85%

Yes…formatting is ridiculous…I’ll be back to “finish” the good stuff of spontanaiety that works for me…but since I’m not one to “overlook” any other possibillities of unused potential that’s just waiting for me..I formatted….and it sucks. LOL..this took 42 min.  …43..

Wow

wow fuck

And there are the famous 8 easy steps to being a demented ….I lost that trig post and it took me another 5 min. to stick it back to my blog…

formatting of words and creativity, ok…..non formatting and expecting things like your own posts on your own blog to automatically go there…not ok….got it.

There all twix!!

People freak me the fuck out…one min. I’m like lalalalalalala what a beautiful life..than the next I wanna strangle and torture the next mf. who pisses me off….crap. I feel like George Costanza!! There doin the candy bar line up…..omg lol, now, he gets my logic! And he’s a fuckin character of fiction!! Oh jeezus we issues.  Candy bar line up….oh, this is the stuff that keeps me goin, cuz it sure as hell ain’t …. I forgot..I’m watching the candy bar line up in progress!!! It was a set up..There all twixes! AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Hey….now this rings true…huh, interesting

Doubt & it’s failproof trust

“SEVERAL years have now elapsed since I first became aware that I had accepted, even from my youth, many false opinions for true, and that consequently what I afterward based on such principles was highly doubtful; and from that time I was convinced of the necessity of undertaking once in my life to rid myself of all the opinions I had adopted, and of commencing anew the work of building from the foundation, if I desired to establish a firm and abiding superstructure in the sciences. But as this enterprise appeared to me to be one of great magnitude, I waited until I had attained an age so mature as to leave me no hope that at any stage of life more advanced I should be better able to execute my design. On this account, I have delayed so long that I should henceforth consider I was doing wrong were I still to consume in deliberation any of the time that now remains for action. To-day, then, since I have opportunely freed my mind from all cares [and am happily disturbed by no passions], and since I am in the secure possession of leisure in a peaceable retirement, I will at length apply myself earnestly and freely to the general overthrow of all my former opinions.”

Excerpt from René Descartes: Meditation 1;

Of the things which may be brought within the sphere of the doubtful 

Ok, I’ve seem to have found a way which makes it somewhat less difficult..for the moment that is…to post what it is that I am apparently having so much trouble getting across in a clear and concise manner which can be understood when attempting to share my thoughts and ideas. which of course, is from insecurities of actually coming up with a topic that, however clear is conveyed to me or with me in my mind…somehow, fasinatingingly gets ‘lost” once the time comes for the writing down of these things. either way, this is what I’ve “found’ to help me in overcoming such phobias of expressing these thoughts with the backing of a qoute in order to take it even “further”…as a unique individual such as myself wishes to accomplish.

Alright, and there we have it, of that which we commonly doubt….ourselves, evidently. There’s always some plan, some dreeam, some idea…that a person may have at any one point in their lives…or at many continous points…and how many people actually ‘execute” their plans and goals and bulldoze through the countless obstacles that are placed in their way for the very purpose of teaching us to overcome/get the fuck over it…due to the obstacles themselves being the actual challange of life? How many people give up on themselves and let life and it’s inequalities decide their “fate” for them?…I’m no statistics major…yet I can fully assure you, that the probability is astoundly high that this is the actual case. As usual, I’ve jumped ahead a little and flew through one topic without fully explaining my position on the matter at hand…and at the same time, interestingly enough, I’ve “brilliantly” linked it directly to the larger issue that produces the first topic in question to begin with. Since my youth, I’ve always been fond of “diversity” and the mixing up of multiple viewpoints in order to more fully comphrehend such complex issues as this one here….so, without wanting to further complicate this matter of great importance with the use of vain and unesscary linguistics….The freakin point here is to have trust in yourself at all times, guide your own life and stop doubting every little thing and wonder if it is right or wrong, acceptable or not and whether it’s a truth or falsehood. How can one such as myself, with such a rich history of mental and cognitive dys-functions come to such a remark-able conclusion you ask? I have not the slightest idea of how to convey this in a manner which would produce a source of credibility which has become mandatory in this day of modern Acedemia in order to supply proof of such spectacular findings, which I as a mere citizen of little importance in comparison to the mass of geniouses that are plentiful in this day and time, who have the advangtage of owning the very source of repitable credibility, reffered to as a Master’s degree or P.h.d. Never one to purposely overstep my boundries, taken my position in life as an uncrdeible source of information due to my lowly position of merely being a human, I am unable at this point to provide a solid conclusion in regards to this matter, as life experience, which has brought me to such understandings, is without a doubt, beyond comparison, inferior to that which has been adamantly learned and memorized via a textbook of traditional, yet reliability and originality in it’s proven theories.

PROOF

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 3RD, 2008  A DAY TO REMEMBER. WILL BE BACK TOMMOROW WITH THE INSANITY. A FUCKING MIRACLE AND TORTURE AT THE SAME TIME.

Confidance Booster

Amazing. I log into this site, left hand side: Your stuff, right hand side, what’s hot. that’s nice, cuz I don’t have enough issues to begin with. Yeah. I’ll be back. Oh and the “stick this post to the front page” box, classy, real classy.

ok

What’s more classier than arguing with a computer? No response huh, that’s what I thought. Bitch

It’s like that

It’s funny, cuz U know that expression that goes something like..people just talk to hear themselves speak, well, do they actually listen to what they say? I think not. I listen to everything, mostly cuz I’m bored, I have no friends and God has it in for me. But yeah, I listen, and if other people would start listenen’, hmm, maybe life would be a little more bearable. Fuckers. With your standard acemdemia and answer keys. Fuck you. Here’s a statististics test u dumbass high school teachers with your 1980′s texbooks, what’s the probability of a disgruntled student punching you in that stupid face of yours till you pass me? Or option B, I redo, for the 6th time, the new pre test again (new, cuz the orignal mysteriously disapeared)..hmm, your welcome future students. Ok, so there’s no way out. How the fuck can these teachers at my school not understand what I write, oh my fuckin god, what the hell is wrong with people? My 2 year old son is smarter.

Unprooved mysteries

Now, on to the more important things in life. I would like to know who in the fuck stole a pound, yes a pound of freakin jambon out my fridge. Now, I can’t be sure, but the probablitity of a fuckin pound of ham just getting up and rollin out the fridge on it’s own is of no logic whatsofuckin ever. Yeah. I know who it is too. I’m not petty, I won’t start a war over it, but seriously, it’s not my son. It wasn’t me, I bought it, why would steal it? That leaves one other person, and yes, me thinks it was the roomate. why you may ask? Well, this is not the first time the issue of missing ham has come up, oh I’m serious. what? Nonsnse, oh but it isn’t, perfectly legit of a situation, this person obviously has an unhealthy obssession with ham, the need to steal it and than pretend like, oh I haven’t eaten it or seen it. Yeah ok, seriously, why would someone eat a pound of fuckin ham, and lie about it, c’mon now, and anyway, who in their right minds eats a pound of ham to begin with? Ham, iicck, it’s not even something you eat in bulk, or a munchie food. like I ate pizza in the middle of the night once, put the empty box back and the next day I was like, where the fuck’s the pizza. Ok, I admit it at least, I forgot, then I remembered. And No, I know what your thinking cracko, I did not eat the ham. What do you do in a situation like this…I’m the one doing the cooking, so a little bit of reverse hamology can’t hurt, hahahaha!! Who has the wrost issue, the ham steeler or the ham dectective? Yup, It’s gonna be a long one.

Ham interrogation part deux!

I can’t get over this…I can’t…it’s so stupid it’s hilarious. what does one do with a pound of ham? WHAT THE FUCK??!! Do you just roll it up and pop it your mouth obssevively? Seriously, were not talkin about a bag of candy here. Ham. To physically go in my fridge and steal ham, out of all things. LOL, ok, this is funny, cuz it’s like I’m interrogating myself, it’s funny now, than it’s not type a thing. Fuck. Now, i present exibit B or rather option B. Twix. Yes twix. Now people are like twix. you know, 2 bars of chocolate in one wrapper. funny, cuz for halloween, they take the twix, and combine it into one freakin mini bar. Now, if the logic is out there to acheive this, how the fuck is it that people, cannot combine the logic it takes to make 1 fuckin twix outta 2 and use that logic for real life? you know what i mean jellybean? Yeah I do. Fuck it’s unexplainable. Termonolgy is just great for times like these, enter sarcasm here. Unbelievable, I did not steal the ham, prove it muthafuckers. Ha!

That’s it

And it’s on muthafuckers….I may be a ‘little” girl who no one respects and listens to, well ha, I listen, I work hard and I’m fuckin tired of people in postions of power..specifically my school, abusing their power and not caring for the students cuz their too fuckin lazy or indifferent to teach properly, or at least remain objective…as humanly possible and motivate the younger ones to acheive and go out there and fuckin contribute their “undelveloped”/ unrecoginsed talents that will be of better service to others in need. Fuck. Anyway, I gotta go study and re take the pre test in stats, you know cuz I’m retarded and just can’t understand math and systematic logic. Whatever. purposely wasting my time cuz of differnce of view points…well there’s a limit, when it’s done with malice in order to remain ignorant and proove superiorty of standard/traditional viewpoints that hold those more qualified and passionate about helping back..well fuck you too. As crazy and unbeatable this no justice thing is…I’m fed up of seeing students/ young adults get fucked around by the system. Yeah, I may not know what the hell I’m doin, and regardless of outcome and without expectations, I’m delusional and working with it. Yeah. Have a fuckin great day.

Focused psychosis

It’s amazing what underestimation of a person accomplishes. oh, I had good intentions, and the ignorant, lazy, indifferent and power hungry people are too busy worrying about covering their asses to realize that their fuckin idiots about to get served with a little bit of v-n-a lovin. That’s the way it works.

It’s good to be me

Oh and the battle of the sexes continue….Thank God for the power of human forgiveness..and of course this tequila I’m drinking….that always helps. Only I decide to drink on a sunday night. Cuz I’m insane and Monday is a pleasure, as revenge is what keeps me alive. Yeah I’m serious, sad? oh well, get the fuck over it. Or maybe some tequila can help. Hey, I’m a humanitarian, anything to help, and since fuckin logic doesn’t seem to be the fuckin norm these days, I’ma offer ya some booze, why? Cuz fuckers don’t listen to reason so if that fails, then were dealin with treason!! hahahaha. fouf, thank God for that indestructible innocence too, yeah…refill

The good samaritan Law

The good samaratian law, what the fuck is that all about? The good samaratians are the ones who use every dirty tactic to see good prevail, and the people who play the ass acting like they all innoncent are the fuckers who don’t care. oh crap that sounds like me…no way out i tell ya! LOL.

Talking Tequila

Tell me all your dirty secrets bitches….oh fuck, shut up, shut up muthafuckers, shut it, those are mine. Wack! Hahahaha, Fate=pussy asses who r scared of the “unknown”, Uh, fucktards, the unknown is unknown for a reason, cuz your a bunch of stupid asses. Gotta go..truth serum kickin in.AAHHHHH. hehehehehehe

poetic elegance

WOW, it’s downright astounding how i manage not to get thrown in a fuckin mental instituition. OMG, LOL, I’m reading my writing…cuz I fascinate myself…and fuck, it’s absolute insanity the verbal crappoetic elegance that comes outta my mouth. Funny, cuz I act like a “normal” person in public…only cuz I’m busy committing treason…hehehehehe no silly! I’m retarded, I wouldn’t even know how. hehehehehe

Logophopics

Bunch of logophopics, what is wrong with people and there fear of wording and termology, fuckers, I’ll just keep playing with words just to piss people off. Fuckin retards. I’m female, so I what I say has no bearing to begin with, funny cuz I’m smarter and can run that fuckin joke of a school alone. And the stealing of my breath thing has gotta stop already, I let nothing pass. And to those who think it’s funny to waste my time with a statistics test over difference of viewpoints, it’s not. I’m the student and I rewrote that whole fuckin math book, reworded the tests and they won’t accept it and are telling me to come up with a list of questions for them, hell no. I understand that material. I have nothing left to prove. Big fuckin mistake to underestimate me. I warned them and only a few listened. Now I gotta write a letter. If I could figure out a way to overcome this logophophia!!!!  hahahahaha

Honestly fed up

Since honesty, integrity, and truth don’t mean shit in this life, I might as well become a fuckin criminal.

pharmacy Fun

Ok, so I went to the pharmacy for some alprozolam, I was missing a penny and the cashier took one out of a “it’s not easy being this perfect” cup!!! I’m a bad-ass!!  I quit this crimminal life, I can’t take it!!

Who dat be

If this God everyone’s talking about is so omnipotent and powerful, well, were gonna run into a connundrum of sorts fuck. Considering that….oh..oops I did it again!

Mofo’s

Unbelievable, I’m walking out of the underground parking lot with a big ass bag of diapers and some clown tries to run me over, I wasn’t haven’t any of that, I screamed pedestrians have the right of way you asshole! Then I smashed his window & gave him the finger. Oh his look was priceless.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Too funny to not post, an email a chicken friend of mine just sent me:

 

 

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends…that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.

 HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure – right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.

 GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

 COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of crossing?

 AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

 JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

 AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

 DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it
goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current
problems before adding new problems.

 OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going
to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not
live his life like the rest of the chickens.

 ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

 NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can
see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

 PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

 DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

 ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

 JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the
plain truth? That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as
that.

 GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

 BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish
its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

 ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

 BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^(C%……….reboot.

 ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

 COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Now this is what keeps me happy..I live for for absurdities such as this, Why you may ask? Cuz I’m a chicken gone bad!!! …And from the looks of that pic, well, I would cross too, ya know, since it’s the other side or that fuckin cliff..so um yeah.

The variables

Amazing how I forget to account for variable change…considering that’s all I got to work with. lol

Naturally Chimique

Take Me in Your Arms

(Miss Heroin)

So now, little man, you’ve grown tired of grass
LSD, goofballs, cocaine and hash, 
and someone, pretending to be a true friend,
said, “I’ll introduce you to Miss Heroin.”

Well honey, before you start fooling with me, 
just let me inform you of how it will be.

For I will seduce you and make you my slave, 
I’ve sent men much stronger than you to their graves. 
You think you could never become a disgrace, 
and end up addicted to Poppy seed waste.

So you’ll start inhaling me one afternoon, 
you’ll take me into your arms very soon. 
And once I’ve entered deep down in your veins, 
The craving will nearly drive you insane.

You’ll swindle your mother and just for a buck.
You’ll turn into something vile and corrupt. 
You’ll mug and you’ll steal for my narcotic charm,
and feel contentment when I’m in your arms.

The day, when you realize the monster you’ve grown, 
you’ll solemnly swear to leave me alone.
If you think you’ve got that mystical knack, 
then sweetie, just try getting me off your back.

The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots.
The jangling nerves screaming for one more shot. 
The hot chills and cold sweats, withdrawal pains,
can only be saved by my little white grains.

There’s no other way, and there’s no need to look,
for deep down inside you know you are hooked.
You’ll desperately run to the pushers and then,
you’ll welcome me back to your arms once again.

And you will return just as I foretold!
I know that you’ll give me your body and soul.
You’ll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart.
And you will be mine until, “Death Do Us Part” 

 

Author Anonymous

Qualified insanity

What a fuckin day. perfect timing, the roomate just got back with my tequila. yes, this roomate is real, really annoying that is! No, she’s cool… anyhoo, I took it upon myself to do my duty as a human being and help out those oh so desperatley in need…of a slap across the face that is   Uhh, errr ummm, I mean I left a little surprise in the form of a diploma in their cubby holes for my oh so caring and  qualified teachers and the “Education Consultant” at my cracked out school. I wonder if I’ll get called into the princeable’s office again…oh wait..I forgots, the princeable will be double checking my last Stats Test, of which I scored a mere 54%, so I would say it’s safe to assume that the probability is quite high!!

Crazy Talk

Thou shall not commit fuckery with I. yeah. Fucka you too! Get this crazy person away from me! Ok Bye!

Trust no one

It’s like I’m just waiting for death.  I have no trust in anyone anymore. Been betrayed too many times. Paranoid as fuck too, cuz I feel like someones always watching me. It’s like some fucked up situation that’s not easy to explain. I know who it is, and you destroyed my life you fuckin asshole.

Retarded by Association

People. People are fuckin dumb. They act all slow and retarded on purpose just to interfere with other people and slow them down. It’s like, I know exactly what it is that’s goin on, and they just keep doing it on purpose..I hate that shit..it’s extremely aggrivating. AAHHHHH, it just happened again fuck. I’m not helping people anymore. No fuckin point. Ok, well. I’m gonna have my retarded co-loc take me for a drive!!! I piss her off in the car and freak her out. Progress…baby steps. Unfuckin believeable. hmm, I wonder how long it’ll take to fuckin plan!

Lies I tell U!

Fuck I did it again. i can’t stop lying. It’s like some complusive uncontrollableness. And i don’t even know I’m lying till after the lie. Perhaps this is what makes me honest. hehehe

Freely Trapped

There’s no stopping me now, at this point, nothing really matters all that much. I care about certain issues, however, I’ve come to the realization that the world is what it is and however noble it may be to want justice and equality for all….it doesn’t work that way, it never did, and it never will. that’s the beauty of life though. Once it’s recognized that anything really is possible, yet at the same not possible, well, that’s when it gets interesting. So many of us get trapped in the pursuit of truth and end up addicted to what it brings, which of course, cannot be explained or reasoned with as it happens naturally, is set up that way for the very reason of having to experience it in order to understand such a phenomhena. When this point is reached, there’s no way out, whatever truth really is or perceived as, it’s everywhere, and those who experience such a convoluted reality are free and not free at the same time. Free in the sense of expressing themselves in whatever manner they see fit for any given situation while maintaining composure, or what is considered as honorable and having integrity. Although this type of freedom is a gift as well as blessing, it naturally comes attached with obligations that must be honored and maintained regardless of it’s contradictory nature and the personal burden such a reality brings forth. This very burden, is continous and a rush at the same time.

Uh-Oh!

Oops I did it again! I trust myself completley, simply due to the fact that I know for certain that I cannot be trusted. That’s some hardcore trust.

GOD VERSUS SANTA CLAUS

MY THEORY, ANYONE NABS IT AND THE FRYING PAN IS COMING BACK OUT!

Ca Finis J’amais Fuck

Ok, riddle me this, anyone who has the balls that is…as to why majority of people are scared of the truth and have some twisted need to remain incompetent, even once pure reason and logical proof is handed to them, that perhaps, there actually are more effective ways of handling everyday issues. It’s as if it’s done on purpose. I was taught, “If they ain’t beside you or behind you, they in your way, so you move em, but you do it nicely” Well, when that doesn’t work, what are we to do? This, is Vanessa, yes Vanessa, asking anyone who gives a f**k, to tell me what it is that needs to be done in order for other’s to start waking the f**k up as well…I keep answering my own questions, amazing. Ok.

Bacardi & Xzibit

Anyhoo, it’s a great day. The house is clean, Supper’s in the oven, I’m drinking Bacardi, listening to Mr. X to da Z…he’s an extremely talented hip-hop artist. It’s better than going to school.

WTF?!

Let’s get something straight assholes…there’s no U and I in team. There’s ME in team, however there is no U and I. Now that we’ve got that all cleared up..I gotta go baste the chicken. the trick to a juicy chicken is in the measure of central tendacy chosen in order to produce such a tasty product, which I, personally, feel that the measure of central tendancy in such a situation depends on the frequency of distribution. Or to put it in retarded terms…baste the chicken obssesively as it’ll stay moist and tender! hahahahahahaha

Grounded Truth

Ha! Can trust & truth be held as these feelings are what we term intangible, and therefore not actual phsyical elements, as such feelings are simply a part of the imagination?  Sweet.

“The Ten Commandments”

I’d just love to know who the fuck wrote the original “Ten Commanments”, what a pile of shit. Here’s the Original ones, then we will be moving on to the next chapter, Vanessa’s various Commandments.

The commandments engraved on stone tablets and given to Moses by God on Mount Sinai. These commandments are the heart of the divine law in the Old Testament. The usual enumeration is: (I) I am the Lord thy God; thou shalt have no other gods before me. (II) Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. (III) Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. (IV) Honor thy father and thy mother. (V) Thou shalt not kill. (VI) Thou shalt not commit adultery. (VII) Thou shalt not steal. (VIII) Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. (IX) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house. (X) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.

My Commandments:

1- Thou shall do as She sees nesecary and required!

2-Thou shall not go to church.

3-Thou shall remain a hypocrite

4-Thou shall covet whoever the fuck she wants to.

5-Thou shall steal, if it’s nessecary to feed her family

6-Thou shall commit adultery ..note( if she finds anyone worthy enough to commit adultery with..etc)

7- Thou shall completley fuck thy neighbour up and frame his ass!

8-Thou shall not kill, as maiming leaves a deadlier impact

9-Thou shall “honor” those who “honor” her.

10-Thou shall completley forget any ho-liness days

11-Thou shall contnue to take the Lord’s name in Vain

12-Thou shall drink alkoholic beverages in order to deal with this bullshit.

And there we have it people, hhhhmmm, now what’s the difference between the original commandments and my new ones? Oh, um, yeah, exactly. No difference, except that I, Vanessa, have thy “balls” to admit what a bunch of hypocrites we all are, so snap the fuck out of it people. Ok, well I have “school” tommorow. TTYL!

Note: Fuck off..I did not write the original ones, I reworded it for better interpretation of it, as so many are in need, and I don’t even pass around a collection basket. Go get your own fuck.

WTF

Oh sweet Jeezus, there’s not enough booze or dope on this planet to fix this kinda fuckery up. WOW. LOL. Ok, well, gotta go.

Grounded for life!!

Were grounded for life!

No Way out & No Way In

What a fuckin disaster.

Revenge

Ok, here’s the story, I gotta let it out and yeah…I have no one to talk to. So I’m outta school, fuckers closed my file ith emploi quebec on the 3rd….yet it’s funny cuz I was there on the 3rd..and even came in on the 4th to do the exam..which they said i wasn’t allowed to do..didn’t even bother to inform me that they closed my file…were sopposed to get 2 weeks notice..it’s like a job..except getting paid to go to school full time. i didn’t even get a letter from the agent. poof…just fucked me over..again…anyhoo..it’s not so much a complaint as it is revenge…now i failed thoses stats exam on purpose type of thing..why? cuz, there are major mistakes in those books..there outdated…translated from french to english….and nothing corresponds with the exams…I went for help…I spoke to the teachers, the directors…numerous fuckin times….they wouldn’t even listen to reason…now i can be a real fuckin pain in the ass…however, i was calm , quiet, clear…gave them proof…they really didn’t give a fuck…what a mess..seriously..I worked so hard.. i did…and the worst part is that..yes it’s for me..but not so much as it is for the other students…who, ironically..i don’t even really associate with…i intrigue them, yet most were scared of me..weird, cuz I was always by myself, but I didn’t take shit from anyone and spoke my mind when i saw unjust shit..and the worst part is that they have no idea what I went through, and tried to change for them and they don’t even care…dirty looks, backstabbing, jealousy..teacher pet type of thing..fuck..that’s aggrivating. it’s like wtf is wrong with people? i know everyone has there own shit to deal with, but wtf is it that people are afraid of  and have to run away and treat me like shit cuz i tell it like it is. I’m not done with that school..i will get them fired..they have to much against them..and i’m getting a lawyer..goin to obudsman..etc.. i already had the director transffered to a lower level postion, the teacher who replaced her…who didnt belong in a class room to begin is already on sick leave…2 down…3 to go. i ain’t fuvkin around..just because i’m out of that school, have no funds, and am considered garbage to them…well, they didn’t realize that there dealing with vanessa..a scorpio, a tough one…I never give up..i’ve been through crazy shit in my life…fucked over by pretty much everyone I’ve been close to…and i’m not letting this situation resolve itself…i’ve done that in the past cuz i don’t fight over small shit, but this is huge…there’s way more to the story, and when it’s done, well, i’l fuckin go public with everything,…I’m so serious bout this…why…cuz it needs to be done..that school is running on major incomptentance, they treat students like crap, talk to us like were retared, or in a mental instituition…arrgg. i’m not even mad, it’s just so fucked up. anyway.. I’m gonna build my case against them, not a matter of if, but when..they will be fired. then they’ll know what’s it feels like to apply for welfare around christmas time.. when a young mom alone with a 2 year who went the extra mile for others who dont even fuckin care…yeah unscrabble the rest fuck…there’s so much more that happened at that school, it’s fucked up, it sounds almost unbelievable, like the fuckin movies, yet so true…and if anyone gets in my fuckin way with this, pray for your life, cuz it WILL be done, I paid for my “castle keep’..i still pay the price everyday, and I’ve taken so much abuse and shit in life..I’ll no longer be treated like a fuckin trash can…they didn’t just fuck with me…they fucked with my 2 year old’s life as well, and that, you don’t fuckin do…EVER. this is what happens when it’s prooved that a women’s equal to a man…well, there fucked, cuz this pretty girl, can drink like a man, “think” systematically like a man, and i’ll drop there asses and there not even gonna know what hit em..funny, I don’t have a cock, but i got balls..higher up, and on my chest..and yes there spectacluar, and there real! and there gonna knock those fuckers out!!!..that was quite the rant!!

The Boyz!

Alright, on to better topic..this too, is something unexplainable, however as this is my blog and i unload here as I see fit…aahh, the boyz at those Xzibit forums…I love em…now, these guys are fuckin quick, there smart, they know what there talkin about..and they’ve been nice to me..they have..of course, since i have trust issues..I don’t know if there playing with my head sometimes..but that’s me..i have major, major trust issues…anyway…they know i love them over there…I’ve been somewhat of a pain in the ass..a little scared i overstayed my welcome type of thing…but for the first time..yeah, the first time ever..i was showed respect…from people i least expected it from. it feels nice. i really wish i could just be one of the guys sometimes and just hang out with them, i know it sounds fucked up…but theyre nice to me…and i just want some fuckin friends who care…that’s all i ever wanted..and what i think i’ll never come to understand is why i’ve always been betrayed and been alone..what’s so wrong with me, what the fuck is so wrong with me…i don’t understand, i don’t. I’m too young to have to deal with what i deal with. I don’t fuckin get it.

WHY FUCK?WHY?

You wanna know what I don’t understand? why are we here to begin with? This planet, life, earth…being human, we all know struggle..different degrees of it for different indivduals..but what the fuck is the purpose, it’s siad that everything has a purpose, ok, no arguments there…but why? what’s the reason, and where did we go wrong, when you think of it..no one really knows what were all doing here…it’s like a hell on earth, not always..what is the reason for life..no one knows, no one knows…FUCK, I”M FREAKIN OUT< WHERE THE FUCK AM I SOPPOSED TO ESCAPE TO>>THERES NO WHERE TO GO…I WON’T TAKE MY OWN LIFE…CUZ I CAN’T LEAVE THIS BEHIND…BUT WHAT IS THE REASON, I WANT A FUCKIN REASON FOR LIFE…

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I have the balls,the smack & both my hands

This was a post by my buddy theophilus..fuck your copyright, I just took it cuz I’m proud of my rebuttal..

theophilus:

Deuteronomy 25:11-12 (New International Version)

11 If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12 you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

Vanessa:

LOL, which hand do you cut off…the hand that’s holding the balls or the other hand that’s she using to smack him across the head with? Tough call.

Whenever your ready to sign those dotted lines A.R…be sure to let me know.

2 Sided Praise

•     I trust you…just as much as I trust my crack dealer
•     You make my life complete…completely unbearable
•      Great!…that’s just what I needed
•       That’s amazing!…you take stupidity to a whole new level
•     What an imagination…..your a real lunatic
•     Dynamite…Your ass is lucky we don’t have any in the house
•      You’re a good listener….when your asleep     
•   You tried very hard….but you still suck
•   You made my day…real freakin miserable
• Say, “Thank you”…you selfish little prick
•  You work hard…..at drivng me absolutely insane
•  That’s perfect…perfect for the trash can
•  You brighten my day…when your not around
•   You’re growing up…into a real loser
•   You’re precious…..is what I keep telling myself so I don’t  strangle you
•  
• That’s remarkable…..considering that your borderline retarded
•   You’re on your way…right into juvenile lock up
•   Now You’re Flying…right off the balcony cuz your drivin me nuts 
•  
•  You Made My Day…a living fuckin hell
•   I can’t get over it….your delusional personality astounds me
• You’re a great example for others…on what not to do
•   You’ve got what it takes…to eventually turn into a psychopath
•   
• Take a bow…so I can kick you in the head

Most people think it…I say it for them

Just how crazy can we get?

I must seriously be retarded…how am I sopposed to slap someone with my tits..if I’m the one holding them…jeezus, wow. I got my feet, I can just hoof em in the head with them, which will be kinda difficult, when the holding of the tits thing is taken into account, and I’m upside down. fuckin freakshow contortionist. LOL..too funny to even believe at this point.

so immature

omg lol..what a dumbass..it’s like I’m in kindergarden…

Some Puzzle

The indestructable mystery. Unsolvable, those who pursue it do come to an understanding of life to a certain degree. Human relationships, the reason for it all. How? No fuckin clue. How did life begin..the creation of life itself, the world, human beings, the very substance that holds us all togeather, yet at the same time, tears us apart in perception, perhaps that’s why life is so unbelievably fasinating…hhhmm..I was once told we can only give away as much love as we have for ourselves. Do we really know what love is, when, regardless of what we attempt to change for the better in ourselves, our pasts is what makes us who we are today. We can live in the moment, temporarily put the past and all it’s hurts behind us…yet it’s always there, always ready and willing to be remembered at any given moment. is this why we make the same mistakes continously? and if there not really mistakes at all, a hell of a lot of repetition, it’s like free crack! Fuck, lol, who we kiddin? Whether or not were aware of it or not, all the hurt, anger, pain, misery, laughing, crying, happiness and love is one and the same thing. just like were all the same, only difference is each individual’s unique attributes(shut- up)..and this puzzle that we call life…ah sacrement, it’s already put togeather, yet everybody’s going around trying to find the missing pieces. Everybody is part of the truth, fuck, that’s where it screws everything up, because not everybody comes to this understanding, and that’s what makes those who do clearly understand at least this part, have to kick other people’s asses, cuz were tired of waiting fuck!

From the ground up

I’ll never forget this day….after everything I been through..there’s always people out there, who will reinforce the fact that were never to give up..no matter what the odds are..whatever the reason, it becomes irrelevent…momentarily of course..I cry, yet I feel good at the same time…I never opened myself up this way…cuz my “actual parents”..Vanessa’s parents never cared…or didn’t know how…and these people I’ll never meet meet…came through for me..that alone..makes me so fuckin appriciative..that no amount of words can express…it really is the greatest gift ever. And there’s no shame in being female….it’s still tough though…I’ll get my prince charming before I go…my son comes first though…what was done to me, will never be done to my son..and that is truth…and you what? it’s a sacrifice that’s worth it…I know how how it feels to be abandoned and tossed aside like trash…my son does not..and it’s gonna stay like that…all this pain I’ve lived through…made me into a strong person…who understands what it’s like…and family does come first…we may be all family..dsyfunctional….and my little guy is with me every day…and he needs his mom, and his mom is with him. I”m a hypocrite and a sneaky fucker as well…however, I won’t do like my own parents// who put cock and pussy before there own children//…and that is truth…cuz no one comes into my apartment without passing an assessment…and my roomate Jess follows the same rules. Why? Cuz we know what’s it’s like to lose….and that’s what’s makes us fight the unbeatable odds.

Crayola love

On a more funnier note..I went to dolla store today…I got Crayola wasahable window markers..and a sketch pad…little bugger luca won’t even let me write on the windows with them..he keeps repacking them..aahh, when he goes to sleep, i’m so writing on the windows. lol, he’s so cute, my little guy. he’s the boss! I swear I don’t make this stuff up, it happens and it’s like a live movie, my life…that’s why I don’t watch t.v much..the universe is on…

The Wager

Some dude named Blaise Pascal said…

…”God is, or she is not.” But to which side shall we incline? Reason can decide nothing here. There is an infinite chaos which separated us. A game is being played at the extremity of this infinite distance where heads or tails will turn up. What will you wager? According to reason, you can do neither the one thing nor the other; according to reason, you can defend neither of the propositions.

Do not, then, reprove for error those who have made a choice; for you know nothing about it. “No, but I blame them for having made, not this choice, but a choice; for again both he who chooses heads and he who chooses tails are equally at fault, they are both in the wrong. The true course is not to wager at all.”

Yes; but you must wager. It is not optional. You are embarked. Which will you choose then? Let us see. Since you must choose, let us see which interests you least. You have two things to lose, the true and the good; and two things to stake, your reason and your will, your knowledge and your happiness; and your nature has two things to shun, error and misery. Your reason is no more shocked in choosing one rather than the other, since you must of necessity choose. This is one point settled. But your happiness? Let us weigh the gain and the loss in wagering that God is. Let us estimate these two chances. If you gain, you gain all; if you lose, you lose nothing. Wager, then, without hesitation that she is.

“That is very fine. Yes, I must wager; but I may perhaps wager too much.” Let us see. Since there is an equal risk of gain and of loss, if you had only to gain two lives, instead of one, you might still wager. But if there were three lives to gain, you would have to play (since you are under the necessity of playing), and you would be imprudent, when you are forced to play, not to chance your life to gain three at a game where there is an equal risk of loss and gain. But there is an eternity of life and happiness. And this being so, if there were an infinity of chances, of which one only would be for you, you would still be right in wagering one to win two, and you would act stupidly, being obliged to play, by refusing to stake one life against three at a game in which out of an infinity of chances there is one for you, if there were an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain. But there is here an infinity of an infinitely happy life to gain, a chance of gain against a finite number of chances of loss, and what you stake is finite.

 

..and since he’s dead and can’t sue my ass for copyright issues..blah blah..I’m taking the bitch’s theory!

Anyway, this dude is fucked up…wager, don’t wager, you must wager…lucky his ass is dead or i’d slap him with my theory.  what is staked is finite…nah nah nah..it’s continous and ya can’t fuckin lose, you can only lose if you let yourself lose, you know, by being scared and NOT taking risks in life. You what I find extremely funny?..I could just picture it…imagine the whole world, all of a sudden has a panic attack at the same time and start freakin out…where the fuck are you gonna go? lol, unless you commit suicide..well, your kinda stuck on planet fuckin earth…HELLO!! Hahahaha, place your bets, thou shall giveth and thou shall taketh what she pleases!!

And en plus, this guy is dead and he’s still TRYING to tango…with three people.. WTF!!!

Were all a bunch of idiots! And were free to be as stupid as we like…

HELP!!!!

Son of a..fuck..aahhh..i’m so stupid!! LOL

Tango..2-4 players…ick

I’m having a fuckin panic attack!!!! OMFG Let me out goddamit!!!

peek-a-boo- you muddafucks

I never agreed to these conditions..some fuckin plan. Where the hell was I when this was decided? I plead the fifth.

We need to raise the stakes

I’m sooo fuckin bored.

From Vanessa

I think I just might have to commit suicide at this point. No one cares..there all a bunch of phonies, I exposed it…people don’t listen properly. I want no fuckin part of this bullshit. It’s atrocious what’s going on this world and If I can’t be allowed to know the reason for it all…and what I say and do are worthless..and people will just keep disrespecting…fuck you all to..all I’ve ever done is help help help…go outta my way to make people feel like there special..worth something…and you know what, they play along…then try to tuen the tables on me..I’m not even upset, i’m just sick of this shit. everbody hates each other and I just don’t care anymore. How am I sopposed to fuckin care when I get betrayed no matter what I do? Fuck it. Men rule the world and women are shit. that’s the message, it’s always been that way, I’m not wanted or needed, so fuck it. Maybe my only purpose is to change diapers, cook, clean and get abused again, and again and again. I have no other talent, nothing to contribute to this world anyway…itt’s been proven time after time after time. there’s no way to win. I’m gonna start the transffering of paperwork and shit for Jess in regards to taking care of Luca. There’s one way to win…and that’s suicide. Have a good one, loyal family and phony friends. Closing the phone, the radio and you.

Human Descrambler

What a bunch of bullshit, the course I;m taking at university soon….how the hell am I sopposed to keep a straight face? MY GOD! 2-3 years for this? fuck!

 

It’ll give me something to do…I can’t complain.

Certificate in Gender, Diversity and Equity Studies
30 credits

Description and objectives:
The Certificate in Gender, Diversity and Equity Studies (formerly Women’s Studies) program at Bishop’s has been developed to offer students the opportunity to explore gender in society, past and present, applying new concepts that have emerged in feminist scholarship in the past decade. A major and a minor are offered (see Multidisciplinary Studies).

Also interdisciplinary in design, the Certificate in Gender, Diversity and Equity Studies provides courses ranging over a wide variety of subject areas and is open only to part-time students. It consists of 30 credits from a list which can be obtained from the program coordinator, Dr. Cheryl Gosselin. WOM101 is required.All other courses are electives or cognates. Part-time students may take these courses in the Fall, Winter and Summer evening sessions or in the day with permission of the department concerned.

Admissions requirements: (See Regulations for Certificate Programs).

SOCIOLOGY PROGRAMS’ COURSES

Sociology 100ab	Sociological Imagination	3-3-0
The primary objective of this course is to stimulate curiosity about that part of people’s behaviour that is determined by relationships with others and by membership in groups. This course examines and evaluates the contribution sociology makes to the ongoing process of attempting to understand the surrounding social world. This course is intended for students lacking introductory sociology. Professor Lustigman
Sociology 100ab	La pensée sociologique	3-3-0
Ce cours a pour principal but d’éveiller chez l’étudiant le goût du questionnnement et de l’interrogation au sujet des comportements humains determinés par les relations avec d’autres et par les contextes de groupes. L’apport, passé et présent, de la sociologie à la compréhension de l’environnement social, ainsi que les contributions pragmatiques du domaine seront évalués critiquement. Le cours s’adresse aux étudiants n’ayant pas encore touché aux matières d’introduction à la sociologie. Staff
Sociology 101a	Canadian Society	3-3-0
This course provides an opportunity to examine a variety of aspects of Canadian social structure including stratification and inequality regarding class, gender and ethnicity. This course is required of all Sociology Minors, Majors, and Honours students. Staff
Sociology 102b	Québec Society I	3-3-0
The course presents an analysis of Québec in historical perspective, and examines nationalism, bilingualism and social structures. This course is required of all Sociology Minors, Majors, and Honours students. Professor Gosselin
Sociology 105a	Media and Society I	3-3-0
An introduction to the impact of media upon society and the social structuring of contemporary media as industries which produce values and ideology. Professor Czernis
Sociology 107	Canadian First Nations	3-3-0
An introduction to the study of First Nations in Canada. Professor Donnan
Sociology 110a	Research Methodology	3-3-0
Sociological research will be dealt with in its quantitative and qualitative orientations. Students will be introduced to techniques of conceptualization, hypothesis formulation, and operationalization. This course is required of all Sociology Majors and Honours students. Professor Czernis
Sociology 111b	Data Collection/Analysis	3-3-0
Emphasis will be placed on the construction of different methodological frameworks (survey, experiment, fieldwork, unobtrusive measures) as well as the preparation of adequate methods and techniques for data gathering and analysis (sampling, design, coding, questionnaires, interviews). This course is required of all Sociology Majors and Honours students. Prerequisite: Sociology 110a Professor Czernis
Sociology 129ab	Sex and Gender	3-3-0
The relation between sex and gender is examined in terms of roles and values, social inequality and transformations in these over time; the interface between class, gender, and ethnicity is examined with regard to specific social problems and theories. Staff
Sociology 155	Sociology of Sport	3-3-0
A theoretical and empirical introduction to the social organization of sports and how they are mediated. Professor Coulter
Sociology 190	Introduction to Postcolonial Study	3-3-0
An introduction to postcolonial theory and sociological issues arising from the cultural and economic conditions left behind by colonizers and the colonized. By looking at events in countries such as India, Nigeria, the Congo and other former colonies we come to understand the challenge of developing theoretical perspectives which grasp the complex influences of colonizer and colonized upon each other. Professor Donnan
Sociology 202a	Directed Independent Study I	3-3-0
A tutorial course in which the student (normally a major) may pursue his or her interests in a selected area of sociology, under the direction of a member of the Department. Prerequisite: Permission of the instructor and the Department
Sociology 203b	Directed Independent Study II	3-3-0
See Sociology 202a. Permission of the instructor and the Department
Sociology 205a	Family I	3-3-0
Changing forms and functions of the family in Western society; growth and decline of the symmetrical family, definitions, theories, marital and sexual roles, and child rearing. Staff
Sociology 207b	North American First Nations	3-3-0
The course examines the sociology of strategies of assimilation and the forms of resistance to these strategies in North America. Prerequisite: Sociology 107 or permission of the instructor. Staff
Sociology 208ab	Criminology	3-3-0
A survey of theories of crime and criminality in relation to class, race and gender. Substantive issues will include: murder, prostitution, legal and illegal drug use, woman abuse, white collar crime, and organized crime. Staff
Sociology 209	Young Offenders	3-3-0
The subject of young offenders in Canada is addressed using both contemporary critical theory and empirical evidence. The topics covered include the treatment of youth in Canada by the justice system, enforcement agencies, and their social realities. Variables of class, social inequality, gender and ethnicity contribute to the examination of the relationships of youth to criminal trends and behaviors patterns.
Sociology 214ab	Aging	3-3-0
Aging and the life course perspective. Sociological theories on aging in relation to gender, class, and ethnicity. Staff
Sociology 215ab	Culture, Ethnicity and Aging	3-3-0
This course is designed to raise an awareness of aging in relation to culture and ethnicity. Concepts and theories of culture, aging and group interaction understood within a Canadian perspective will be provided in addition to sociological examination of class, gender and race. Staff
Sociology 217ab	Social Policy of Aging	3-3-0
This course will study the content, the interpretation and impact of laws affecting elderly and will examine the evolution of social policies and programs in the province of Quebec and in Canada. It will analyse the principles that the state follows to determine its implication in the field of social and health services to the aging population. The evolution of social policies and programs, the current configuration of governmental resources, community resources, and natural networks will also be examined.
Sociology 219	Sociology of the Body	3-3-0
Notions of the body as the cultural representation of our contemporary “embodied” selves will be explored. This course will uncover the strategies of social, political and economic forces as theses problematize the body and seek to control, manipulate, and alter behaviour. Professor Gosselin
Sociology 220ab	Work and Leisure	3-3-0
Industrial and “post-industrial” societies, especially Canada, are examined within a world-system framework. The focus is on power dynamics, contemporary and theoretical issues, involving workers, professionals, owners and consumers. Formerly called “Industrial Sociology I”. Staff
Sociology 221a	Classical Sociology	3-3-0
An introduction to the nature and purpose of sociological theory and reasoning through a critical examination of the work of Durkheim and Weber. This course is required of all Sociology Majors and Honours students. Formally called Soc 121. Professor Lustigman
Sociology 222b	Dialectical Reasoning	3-3-0
In tracing the tradition which collects Plato, Marx and Simmel, this course seeks to examine the place of dialectical theory and reasoning in sociology. This course is required of all Sociology Majors and Honours students. Formally called Soc 122. Prerequisite: Sociology 221 (formally Soc 121) or permission of the instructor Professor Lustigman
Sociology 223ab	Women and Global Inequality	3-3-0
This course considers the social location of women within a political economy of globalization. Understanding women’s diverse lives requires attention to public, private, local, regional, national and global factors. Staff
Sociology 225ab	Québec Society II	3-3-0
Selected topics for analysis of the values, ideologies, behaviour patterns and material culture of Québec society. The course critically examines Québec society during modernity and early post-modernity and draws heavily on artistic and cultural representations (painting, sculpture, literature, etc.) It is recommended that students take Soc 102 or Soc 101 prior to this Professor Coulter
Sociology 229b	Communications: Gender and Culture	3-3-0
This course examines how society defines gender through communication and what that means for our institutional and personal lives, safety, relationships, and professional opportunities. The focus is on how men and women participate in the social construction of gender, its impacts, and efforts to achieve equality. Topics include: gendered identities, gendered verbal and non-verbal communication about race, gender and violence in the workplace and other institutional or personal settings. Staff
Sociology 230ab	Deviance I	3-3-0
Definitions of deviant behaviour, social roles of deviants and the structure of control. Professor Lustigman
Sociology 235ab	Women and the Penal System	3-3-0
A critical understanding of gender in criminology. Substantive issues will include: Sexual assault and the justice system, women and family law in the courts, domestic violence, gender and murder. Contemporary theories in criminology and their application are examined. Staff
Sociology 241ab	Cinema	3-3-0
Culture phenomena and values such as: class interest, gender roles, important events, national character and foreign policy, the ideal family, the deviant, etc., are reflected and contested in film. Students will be exposed to and discuss a variety of theories and methods of analysing culture by way of film as industry and meaning creation. Professor Coulter
Sociology 245ab	Race and Ethnicity	3-3-0
The sociology of multiethnic and multiracial societies examines social conflicts over the distribution of resources and power; racism and multicultural ideologies are examined. Professor Gosselin
Sociology 250b	Collective Behaviour	3-3-0
Macro-structures of society such as crowds, publics, fads and riots are examined, including evolving collectivities and their subsequent ideological transformations. Professor Czernis
Sociology 260a	Community	3-3-0
A comparative and historical analysis of rural, urban, and ethnic communities. Professor Lustigman
Sociology 280a	Interpersonal Communication	3-3-0
Human interaction at the macrosociological level. Equality, domination, integration, marginalization, co-operation and conflict will be examined. Professor Czernis
Sociology 281b	Communications Methods	3-3-0
Research in the areas of interpersonal, organizational and mass communication. Methods particular to communications studies are examined and applied. Professor Czernis
Sociology 290ab	Contemporary Theory	3-3-0
A survey of twentieth century theory through a variety of schools including symbolic interactionism, functionalism, neo-Marxism, feminism, modernism and postmodernism. Professor Coulter
Sociology 291b	Sociology of Art	3-3-0
An introduction to the Sociological study of the Arts. The course focuses on the social practices and organizational frameworks related to artistic production/creation, mediation processes, and the reception of art works and artists. Attention will be given to issues related to race, gender, class, and power. Professor Coulter
Sociology 292	Social Policy	3-3-0
Introduction to the sociological study of social policy in the Canadian context. The course will examine civil society in relation to a rapidly changing policy context. The development and outcomes of policy will be investigated from a number of theoretical perspectives. Prerequisites: None Staff
Sociology 293	Visual Sociology	3-3-0
We live in cultures which are saturated with digital information and new media. This course engages with major thinkers who study the use of photographs, film, and video to understand society. The course is organized around a series of ideas and problems involving intersections between theory and practice. Professor Coulter
Sociology 294	Sociology of Tourism	3-3-0
Travel, journeys and their associated human migrations are the key areas of focus in this course. While movement for purposes of rest and recreation has always been part of our collective legacy, in this world of increasing globalization, the mass tourist industry and a variety of leisure activities has helped transform many locations around the globe. The course will explore tourism, in all its forms and the impact of traveling, both positive and negative, on cultures, sustainability and the environment. Professor Gosselin
Sociology 295	Sustainable Societies	3-3-0
This course addresses concepts of social and cultural sustainability. Key questions concerning the environmental impacts of social organization as well as options for change will be considered. Professor Donnan
Sociology 296	Globalism and Culture	3-3-0
An introduction to key concepts for the current understanding and applications of cultural and social globalization.
Sociology 299/EDU303	Sociology of Education	3-3-0
Comparative study of the Canadian education system and processes in light of current sociological theory and research Staff
Sociology 301b	Aspects of Sociological Inquiry	3-3-0
The relationships between language and inquiry will be examined with reference to the works of contemporary sociological theorists. Prerequisites: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Lustigman
Sociology 302a	Directed Independent Study III	3-3-0
See Sociology 202a. Prerequisite: Permission of the instructor and the Department
Sociology 303b	Directed Independent Study IV	3-3-0
See Sociology 202a. Prerequisite: Permission of the instructor and the Department.
Sociology 305b	Family II: Selected Topics	3-3-0
An advanced seminar on selected issues affecting the family in historical and contemporary settings involving the relationship between public and private spheres and between production and reproduction. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Staff
Sociology 307	Sociology of Health	3-3-0
This course seeks to examine the place of health and illness in society, the relationship between bio-medical problems and the social, political and economic realities that help shape them. Topics will include poverty and health, mental illness, aging, death and dying, professionalism, health service organization, inequalities in health service access and use, recent policies and difficulties with health care reform.
Sociology 308b	Formal Organization	3-3-0
The institutionalization and legitimation of power and decision-making processes. Special emphasis is given to innovation and deviance in formal organizations. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor. Professor Czernis
Sociology 309	Advanced Seminar in Global Colonization and Decolonization	3-3-0
Colonialism and imperialism are considered in relation to settler societies and global power structure. This course questions theories of decolonization and liberation in the context of cultural and economic empires. Prerequisite: Six courses in Sociology including one of the following: Sociology 190, Sociology 207, Sociology 245, Sociology 296 Professor Donnan
Sociology 311b	Quantitative Tools for Social Research	3-3-0
A critical review of statistical methods frequently used in social research. Prerequisites: Sociology 110 and 111, or permission of instructor. Required for Honours Sociology students. Professor Coulter
Sociology 315ab	Political Sociology in the Digital Era	3-3-0
This course examines the state and policy making in Canadian and global contexts, from a sociological perspective. Marxist, feminist and traditional theories are examined. Prerequisites: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Coulter
Sociology 320ab	Knowledge	3-3-0
How do we know what we know?An analysis of the role of ideas in the development of social institutions and the impact of belief systems on social values. Science, politics, education, religion, the arts and the professions are examined. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Czernis
Sociology 321b	Sociology of Technology	3-3-0
This course treats the social meanings of work and leisure in industrial and “post-industrial” societies. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Staff
Sociology 322ab	Urban Sociology	3-3-0
Theories of urban growth and development; comparative analysis of cities and their problems. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Gosselin
Sociology 331b	Deviance II: Selected Topics	3-3-0
Selected topics such as drugs, homosexuality, prostitution and juvenile delinquency will be discussed. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Lustigman
Sociology 340b	Women: Theory and Ideology	3-3-0
Women are viewed as both object and subject of ideological and theoretical discourses. Oppression and liberation are investigated from a variety of theoretical perspectives. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Gosselin
Sociology 361b	Ethnographics	3-3-0
The emphasis is upon understanding and utilizing ethnographic methods in the examination of societal events and relationships, in terms of how these are perceived and socially organized. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Lustigman
Sociology 381ab	Media and the Environment	3-3-0
This course examines processes of technologically mediated interaction at the macrosociological level. Trends and structures of mass culture and communications are examined in relation to how we relate to nature. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Czernis
Sociology 390ab	Social Justice and Contemporary Theory	3-3-0
The course focuses on the effort to develop a credible progressive vision of an alternative to the present social order given the collapse of socialism as the principal ideal that inspired many struggles for social transformation over the last century. Included is an assessment of the emergence of neo-liberalism and the decentering of class in contemporary theory. The course also investigates efforts to develop a theory of social justice that includes both recognition and redistribution claims. Prerequisite: Students should have 9 credits in Sociology or permission of the instructor Professor Coulter
Sociology 395	Advanced Theories of Social Sustainability	3-3-0
Advanced seminar on the dynamics of global and local relationships regarding the nature of sustainable societies. Prerequisite: Six courses in sociology including Sociology 295 or permission of instructor. Professor Donnan
Sociology 396	Post Colonial Theory	3-3-0
Advanced seminar in contemporary postcolonial theories. Prerequisite: Six courses in Sociology including Sociology 296 or permission of instructor. Professor Donnan
Sociology 402a	Honours I: Special Topics	3-3-0
The course accommodates the study of particular sociological topics at an advanced undergraduate level. Subjects will vary from year to year. Required for Honours Sociology students; normally to be taken in the final year. Prerequisite: The completion of all required courses within the Major Staff
Sociology 404b	Honours II: Research Strategies	3-3-0
This course examines research procedures, the objectives and limits of particular approaches, and the relationships between theory, research strategy and its application. Required for Honours Sociology students Prerequisite: Sociology 402 and completion of all required courses in the Major Staff
Sociology 450	Thesis	6-0-0
Supervised honours research project under the direction of an instructor. This is an option for Honours Sociology students only and must be submitted to the Department upon completion. Prerequisite: The completion of all required courses within the Major and the permission of the Departmental member who acts as the thesis advisor. Normally taken along with 402 and 404 in the final year of the Honours Sociology program. Staff

I freak myself out

Ok, so now that’s it’s been established that there’s no way out the fuckin math book, nor the philosphy book, how the hell am I sopposed to escape? What..i’m sopposed to save the world from their stupidity? People are so fuckin slow..I have a mission, I gotta overthrow thr government…and get the remaining teachers at that school fired. It will happen, now that I’m on da welfare…I can get a free lawyer, and it’ll be all taken care of. Muthafucka’s, I can’t stop. I’m not violent, and I gotta take care of my son. Moron’s, threw me outta school, they just handing me all kinds of ammunition, I have time, major violation of human rights…not that we much rights to begin with…etc..I just don’t like them, there incompetant, they will be removed…at all costs. I’m a scorpio and a crazyass. I don’t have much else to do anyway. Hey if that doesn’t work, I’ll wait till my son is 18, and I’ll beat them extremely hard across the head with whatever’s within reach at the moment!!! I don’t hide my motives! LOL..that’s kinda funny. My lawyer better be competant or I’m shutting his/her ass down on the spot. Fuckers. I’m not even mad..very strange. 3 people…..specific people. Dare to stop me. I’m heartless. Programmed for this. Fuck it. I’ll drag them to the welfare office by their fuckin hair if I don’t see justice. Once the decision is made, the doin becomes effortless. Febuary’s a good month….cupid and x-mas debts…..peek- a-boo, I’m comin to get you muthafuckas! yikes..ok, I’m going to listen to music.

uh oh

wtf…bozo’s downstairs complaint that i was makin too much noise up here..during day time…..whwn my son playing with his toys….now they makin all kinds of noise..after hours….my little guy is sleeping. So I jumped on the floor and it got quiet for a little bit….theyre stoned…so i’m gonna have to kill there buzz….ttyl!! I’m goib downstairs..unarmed and telling them to keep it down..otherwise….hehehehehe.

Morons

It was the neighbours next door..not downstairs…oops. Now I have more enemies…oh well. .

What a feeling

When i was 5 i told my mom i had a t.v. in my head. bitch didn’t believe me, it turns out it  was a t.v filled with hope, imagination and dreams. It was turned off at a young age….ironic, she still has hers and vanessa doesn’t.

Woof!

Well that was certainly fucked up…& I made it..cuz I’m entitled to it. Newsflash: Were all bitches!

WTF

There’s nothing like the feeling of complete failure and worthlessness to keep it as real as possible. I’ve been fighting myself all my life. It’s all I know. Face down on the pavement. Smack down. Defeated. What a fuckin waste. 28 years old. This is what happens after continous abuse. Stand up just to get shot down again. Addicted to pain. It’s the only thing that’s real.

They don’t even know

When I close my eyes..I see nothing. Black velvet. No image whatsoever. no fantasies, no hope, no dreams. This is what I chose?

What the hell

ya know..they really shouldn’t be putting caffeine in them codeine pills. it’s like doin ghetto speedballs. I can’t fuckin sleep. Drunk one min, hysterically laughing the next, half asleep the next, then wide awake. it’s 3 am and i had to pop another temazepam en plus. Uugghh.

Goodbye

Once again, I share truth and it goes unheard. I’m done helping people.

Professa Vexzibit!

When I’m a teacher, I’m gonna give out stickers,  and let all the students pass…even if there retarded….oh and I want their research papers done with crayola’s, and I will know if’s it’s a f.o.t. crayola. just like they make me use HB#2 pencils. Yeah, were gonna kick it with crayola’s and a ghettoblaster! Ok, well, my shechzwan food is on it’s way!

Professa Vexzibit, that’s my proffessional name, thank you!

I’m gonna be such a great fuckin teacher….they better start prayin for their sanity now!!

Retards r’ us

The neighbours are starting again…perhaps it’s the music I’m blasting….or perhaps they simply don’t like the constant noise coming from me….fuck em…and I got a new frying pan…betty crocker..btw…it’s teflon tuff…and if they piss me off I’ma wack em across the head with it..actually, no I won’t..oh that reminds me…one of my previous crackhead neighbours stole a pack of smokes from me when I was napping…via the screen door..so I knocked on his window really hard…woke his ass up…yelled like a lunatic..he got so mad he smashed his own window from the inside, than I maced his face!!!! What a sight…he looked all strung out..he actually called the cops on me…when they came, I was calmly feeding my son, they asked me about the pepper spray, so I took out some paprika…and said…is this what you mean by poire de cayenne?…they left. Than, to top it all off…I find out it wasn’t even that neighbour…it’s ok, the neighbour who stole my smokes is actually the one who set the apartment downstairs on fire…he does this, than has the nerve to come upstairs and ask if he can stay at my place while this is happening..I was like uummm….the building is on fire? and you wanna come and hang out? It’s safe to assume it can only get worse.

Christmas list

here’s my list of all my failures up to date in life. It’s a must considering I love pain for some strange reason.

1- Everything

wow

Soc 235     Women in the Penal System..hehehehehe

I hate the government

Ok, I can’t become an english teacher or a crimonologist cuz i have a record. Now, my other option was sec. studies..ironic, how the only english school around here for that…is being run by the bitch i got fired from my other school. there goes admission to that school. ok, guess I’m gonna have to take that course, in “diversity”..and go help people  i don’t care about and teach them about just-ice. wtf. fuckin hick town, everone knows each other here, I’m wondering what the odds are of me going absolutley fuckin psycho and go on a killing spree. were gonna find out real soon if I don’t get what I want. What the hell am I sopposed to do after that course? teach women to stand up for themselves? What the fuck…no point. they’ll hate me, my ways, and the employees will hate me too. It’s what I do best. and the research papers? I’m just gonna copy paste from credible unknown sources…I’m not fuckin doin research. If you think about..they can’t really fail you in such a course…it’s gender, diver-sity and e-qaulity…they have to follow certain criteria.

Better and Better

I had my roomate take me for a drive…she drives to the cemetary and tells me to get out…..I don’t make this shit up….or do I..cuz I’m bored. I can’t be too sure.

I don’t even wanna know the ending!

My Crayola bag and my 2 year old throw people off….I took over the pool at Bishop’s University!!! They still won’t let me jump  off the high diving board..it’s driving me nuts…So I pissed off the lifeguard and made an ass outta myself..and we had fun!! I gotta come up with some kinda plan to divert their attention next time. I told my roomate to pretend to drown, so the lifeguard wouldn’t see me jump..and she would already be in the water if I did get hurt. it’s fuckin water…your’e sopposed to jump in. But no!!! They said I’ll get thrown outta the pool..uummm, they’ve got it all backwards!!! This doesn’t even make any sense. I’m going back to that pool.

Reloaded

Before i end up killin my roomate and completley loosing my fuckin mind…I bolted it over to the clinic…those replacement doc’s are even easier than my family doc..240  Rivotril…..yeah..exactly, that’s an insane amount for 1 month. I’m happy when I’m stoned.

I haven’t done a post in a while, just thought I’d update you on this in case it went unoticed.

Acceptance

It`s not a matter of accepting people for who they are but accepting them for who they are not!! Beware, next posts we shall dvelve into the issues of me not liking 98% of my class. Some things never change….

oh i forgot

when i was visiting the apartment yesterday night…i was on the balcony, and i was like, i haven’t been this high in a while!! I know, fucked up..typos!!, just remembered, it was funny at the time, luca was running around and i was holding on for dear fuckin life, it’s only like 4 floors up, but fuck it’s scary, it’s like a high though. oh fuck luca just shared some sprite, or well, diet spritz up with the freakin balcony. he better not come for a refill or’ll i’ll wack him one! this kinda stealing is ok though? NO!! luca just came back for a refill, now he sharing with the grass. no more, gotta go! so not normal. I’m laughing like a crazy person..again, at least laughter is funny, i think of a funny word and it cracks me up!! say weed, lmaahhhfao, did you know that if you hold your nose closed and blow out, the headphones get louder? yeah I’ve been doing that since I was a kid, i popped, lol, saw that, an eardrum once, than had an operation, hey i didn’t have to go to school! I’ve had tubes in my ears, invisable ones, than it didnt melt away properly, so i had to go in for a mini operation, i get there and the fuckin docter grabs some medical plyers and yanks the fuckin thing out, i was like, wtf, all kinds of ear crusty’s lol, and dry blood, gghhhhaawww, nasty! your so lucky i have a golden memory, not all the people are appriciate of THAT fact! Especially the stoopid stuff.

Cake eaters!

I’m just reading through my blog and eating some blueberry and strawberry cake, I made all by myself! Ok, so I burnt the ends, but hey, the rest is good. hold on..new post, cuz otherwise, if I post another topic in this post, well, that would be condisered unorganized, and we all know how organized vanessa is..hey did somebody pancake my loan and break my bitch or something? lol, just eating cake…

Where’s my Chrome 45 dammit!

45th post in June, now I’m not liking the person who “spent” it on me…no not the forum people, the lsd coach. Why, because were having a lovers quarral!!

pre-next time!!

It’s been a fucked up and crazy past few days, I had so much fun though…being an idiot…I’ll post later when I’m in one of my demented moods..tired.

& another thing….

The contact..blah blah..making me look bad…not true!!lol..anyway, I have crazy 2 attend 2!! Knock it off dammit!! This one is impossible!! you spelled that wrong mf!!nite bitches!! She’s terrible..NO I’m NOT!

And she’s waiting for STRIKE #3..inevitable!!

Luca just got home..no pan pizza!! He’s eating a peanut butter and nutella sandwich!! That’s my little boy..just like mommy…ruthless!!!alright, well, Toddler time, than I’m going to listen to music, and not answer the door, that or I’ll just go chain smoke..but leave the smokes inside..ya know, so he don’t bother her anymore….oh and were drinking some ameretto sours and coolers!!! Love it!!

Someone needs a fuckin beating!!

I gotta go! Tyyl!!

Yes she did!!

That’s all i gotta say for now..lol!!

umm no

Not really my style!!! Wanna see a ferret like person freak out..just to make things interesting for someone I know?…big sigh…lol!!